2020: The one that broke my heart


For me, 2020 started as the worst of times, and it had nothing to do with the global pandemic.
I’m still processing my pain, figuring out where to go from here. Add to that the unexpected experience of watching the world turn on its head, people suffering and dying, losing jobs and livelihoods and struggling through the mundaneness of daily living, and it almost feels to me like a scene from a horror movie.

It’s funny how we think we have a handle on our life. We know where we’re going (or at least have an idea) We have plans, people to see, money to make and life to live. But all of a sudden, something snaps and our house of cards come tumbling down (and I’m not even talking about the global pandemic)

My pain was real and raw and horrible. And while I won’t share the details right now (because real, raw, and horrible), I’m learning to lean into the season and sit with the pain. I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, at this point, trying to explain the inexplicable or make sense of something I can’t understand. But somehow, I know I’ll find my way out.

Just like I know we’ll make it through this pandemic, social distancing, and collective horror show. I’m not sure how long we’ll be here, at this point, donning homemade masks, avoiding crowds, and meeting over zoom. But I know we will.

So whether you’re dealing with other frustrating life issues or being forced to stay home is the worst thing you’ve ever experienced, trust and believe that it will soon pass. Lean into the pain and confusion if you have to, but keep your eyes on the light on the horizon.

Stay home. Stay safe. Stay positive.

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